Techs What I Done

[Aardvark123]

~Fast and exceptionaly agile half-tracked (yes, really) racer with a wicked pink-and-black aesthetic and bonus white bits "Trackmaker"~



The Trackmaker is an ideal racing car for Venture initiates who want to, well, "venture" out into the wilderness. Or at least it would be if initiates had access to the long armour blocks and caterpillar tracks, not to mention the Hawkeye stuff. Even so, it is cheap and effective. Its straight-line speed isn't the highest, but it can take tight corners even with the booster rocket active and tackle steep hills with ease. Comprehensive spoiler coverage means the Trackmaker won't ever slip, and it also has headlights.

The genius behind the Trackmaker was not who you would expect. Hrodulfr Hrodulfrsson of the North is most comfortable making longships out of Hawkeye's desert camo blocks, but after one tankard of mead too many he agreed to enter an endurance race across the frozen tundra. He bet his wife Sigvrunda on the outcome without bothering to check whether it was legal to do so or whether she was up for it, so the stakes were high. Fortunately for Hrodulfr, she was also drunk and raised no objections until four months later when she divorced him, took her share of the longboats and married a typewriter repairman who actually appreciated her.

Anyway, Hrodulfr bought as many Venture parts as he could afford for the race and cobbled them together into the Trackmaker. The half-tracked design proved surprisingly effective in the snow, bringing him a narrow victory, and all was well until Sigvrunda's typewriter broke...

Size: Small.
Weight: Light.
Speed: High.
Agility: Exceptional.
Movement: Two small tracks, two small wheels with mudguards, one booster rocket.
Defences: Um...
Weaknesses: Several.
Special Features: Two headlights suited to foggy conditions.

 

[Aardvark123]

~Monument to mankind's folly "Light Foot"~



Many years ago, when the Age of the Tech was just beginning, the Galactic Survey Organisation commissioned hundreds of designers to create a wheel worthy of the new era. After months of beavering away, they came up with the Little Trekker, the most powerful and cost-effective wheel ever created. While centuries of innovation have slightly diminished Little Trekkers in comparison to other wheels, they still hold a place in our hearts. For that very reason, Kitty Shostakovich, an eccentric engineer and cat-girl, decided to create a powerful and versatile vehicle fit for our modern age which used only those little grey wheels. And two Better Future steering hovers, but who's counting?

The Light Foot can reach a respectable speed over land, with a couple of rocket boosters on hand to get it over steep hills. A light-weight but powerful armament allows it to take on some enemies, although it is easily overwhelmed. It boasts an extremely compact resource processing and block collecting set-up to take care of stuff and things. The Light Foot is even capable of anchoring itself to charge up in the sun. Kitty made sure that the cockpit was tall enough to accommodate her cute little ears and that the pilot's seat had a hole for her fluffy tail, but has not yet been able to come up with a cup-holder that can handle a saucer of milk.

Size: Medium.
Weight: Medium-light.
Speed: Decent enough.
Agility: Pretty good.
Movement: Catamaran-style Little Trekker chassis.
Defences: Shield and repair bubbles. Some frontal armour.
Weaknesses: Wheels have low torque. A large explosion may cripple the entire tech.
Special Features: Mobile SCU, anchoring, resource sale and power generation, retractable solar panels, rocket boosters.

 

[Aardvark123]

~All-terrain resource gatherer and crafter "High Block Goddess"~



A few months ago, a certain mermaid named Sabrina found herself going through a bit of a rough patch. She had owned and operated the original Block Goddess for a year, but a few bad business decisions and the increasing price of saveloy sausages had left her bankrupt. When the last of the Block Goddess's drills broke off against a steep hill, Sabrina broke down crying. She wept enough to flood her cab, which was fine, because she was a mermaid. They like water.

Mermaids tend not to like being kidnapped, though, so what happened next was less than ideal. A Hawkeye operative kidnapped Sabrina and dragged her to Hawkeye HQ, where she was forced to watch sad films for hours at a time so Hawkeye's Shinto priestesses would have plenty of mermaids' tears to bathe in. There has never been scientific evidence that bathing in mermaids' tears can help you build better techs, but the higher-ups at Hawkeye insist on it, so Sabrina and several other mermaids were forced to suffer.

As the weeks went by, Sabrina's heart hardened, until eventually nothing could make her cry. The slave-keepers tried tickling her, throwing things at her, insulting her and poking her in the eye, but she resisted them at every turn. Eventually they decided to tie her to a long pole and use her as a windsock. Despite the frigid wind on top of the base and the pain of having her long tail flop around, Sabrina came up with a plan. When a particularly strong gust came for her, Sabrina swung herself around until the pole broke and sailed into the hangar.

Sabrina wasted no time parking a tank in front of the door, then she helped herself to some blocks and built the most powerful tech she could manage, a fast and manoeuvreable gun platform with spinning grinders at the front. She drove it through the wall, broke into the mermaid prison and liberated her half-fish sistren, then turned her tech's guns upon the guards who'd come for them. The Hawkeye personnel had fierce techs at their disposal, but none could keep up with Sabrina as she drove away over the ice mountains. From that moment on, she has dedicated herself to ending the exploitation of mermaids.

Sabrina has made some changes to her tech since that day, giving it more weapons and a resource-processing setup. It is now known as the High Block Goddess, stronger and with a snazzier paint job than the one who came before, a beacon of hope for mermaids everywhere.

Size: BenBacon would call her "small".
Weight: Heavy.
Speed: Quite fast.
Agility: Good.
Movement: Eight monster truck wheels with undermounted Garrison wheels for extra wheely goodness.
Armament: Eight Megaton cannons, four GSO missile turrets, two Rapid cannons, six Avalanche missile launchers and some other stuff.
Defences: Full shield and repair bubble coverage, some armour.
Weaknesses: Explosive weaponry can damage some systems.
Special Features: Can refine and hold 540 resource chunks for use in Venture, GSO and Hawkeye crafters. Better Future sky anchor enables anchoring on rough terrain, which enables solar panel usage as well as crafting. And of course it also has rocket boosters.

 

[BenBacon]

Size: BenBacon would call her "small".

I agree. Size description is 10/10 Bacon, Inc approved

 

[Aardvark123]

~Budget multipurpose tech "No Job Too Small"~



No Job Too Small is many things: scout, light attacker, harvester, and that's pretty much it for the "many things". It's an agile and decently strong tech for all those little jobs you might need done. Its missile launchers allow it to take on powerful enemies without getting too close while its cutting-edge movement parts allow it to avoid getting too close. It can also carry twice its weight in resource chunks.

Size: Small. Actually, hold on. If this thing's small, what does that make a tech like Big Tony? Microscopic?
Weight: Um... Light? Ish?
Speed: Fast. That, at least, is something easy to define.
Agility: Good.
Movement: Lightweight half-track chassis designed for speed, plus two propellors.
Armament: Two GSO missile turrets, two small drills.
Defences: Aggregated carbon nano-rod bumper, some areas of plumbite plating, full shield and repair bubble coverage.
Special Features: Mobile SCU at the rear. Can anchor and deploy solar panels.
Weaknesses: Steering can be a bit temperamental. Battery isn't too hard to blow up.

~High-density mobile bullet distribution system "Blast Beetle"~



The Blast Beetle is an agile vehicle designed for devastating* broadsides. It comes with a whole host of weaponry, including underslung Crossfire rifles for shooting things close to the ground, and is capable of anchoring itself to charge up. Strong wheels and powerful rocket boosters make it a viable choice for racing.

Size: I don't even know any more. "Medium"?
Weight: Weight is just a concept.
Speed: Fast... ish?
Agility: All right.
Movement: Four MuddyDog wheels, four concealed Bumper wheels.
Armament: Two dual auto-cannons, six OOZEE SMGs, eight Pip machine guns, eight Hailfire rifles, eight Crossfire rifles.
Defences: Full shield and repair bubble coverage, plus a bit of frontal armour.
Special Features: A booster jet. And solar panels. And an anchor.
Weaknesses: Weapons lack the stopping power to take on well-protected enemies.

~All-terrain prospecting craft "Valley Wolf"~



The Valley Wolf is a fairly basic tech that feels quite at home in the mountains thanks to its all-terrain chassis. Although small, it packs quite a punch, and although stocky-looking, its rocket boosters can carry it up severe slopes. And doesn't it fit the GSO's design philosophy pretty much perfectly?

Size: Yes.
Weight: Yes.
Speed: Yes.
Agility: It's pretty manoeuvreable.
Movement: Four MuddyDog wheels, four Riser wheels, four side-mounted fans.
Armament: Three Megaton cannons, four rock drills, eight COIL lasers, four 8-barrel mini-mortars, four shotguns instead of a front bumper.
Defences: Two ploughs, full shield and repair bubble coverage.
Special Features: Storage for 40 resource chunks, rocket boosters.
Weaknesses: No obvious ones stand out, although those exposed fuel tanks could be an easy target for bomber planes.

 

[Aardvark123]

~Heavy wheeled tank "Bumblebuster"~



For those who want something to blow up in as few shots as possible, the Bumblebuster is the perfect choice of tech. Its small, compact design has room for several batteries and four of the strongest cannons on the market at the time of- yes, what? Naval guns? Um, how many barrels? ...HOW much?! Um, so, as it happens, there are now stronger cannons on the market than what the Bumblebuster has, but anyway, it has four quite strong cannons. And two more cannons. Between its six cannons, the Bumblebuster has enough power to blow up pretty much anything. For fast-moving enemies, a choice of turreted railguns and dual autocannons give it the field of fire it needs to shoot their wheels off. It can take quite a pounding, too.

The Bumblebuster was the brainchild of Frederick Yeetworthy, a former GeoCorp safety officer and minor internet celebrity with a passion for explosions. This passion could perhaps be one of the underlying reasons why GeoCorp sacked him. He named the Bumblebuster because, in his view, it looked rather like a bee. Anita al-Yadiv, a miner who once worked with Frederick, has gone on record saying that she finds it more akin to a headless pikachu.

Size: Large.
Weight: Heavy.
Speed: Slowish.
Agility: Good at turning, albeit not too fast.
Movement: Eight solid wheels.
Armament: Four MK-3 battleship cannons, two sideways frontal Megaton cannons, four dual autocannons, two Hunter railguns, three plasma cutters.
Defences: Full shield and repair bubble coverage. Sloped titanite alloy and aggregated carbon nano-rod armour, some shock plating on the cannons.
Special Features: Try it and find out! ^.^
Weaknesses: It would struggle to run away from a more powerful tech.

~Stout spherical all-terrain harvester "Hyper Rover"~



The Hyper Rover is an advanced harvester which conceals its resource processing setup within a pleasingly round hull. Its downwards-facing plasma cutters can melt any rock or tree, allowing the resources to be picked up by the Hyper Rover's rear-mounted collectors and transferred to its on-board refineries. It can sell and generate power on the hoof, and when anchored, it can make use of solar panels and two medium-range SCU units. While light for a tech of its size, the Hyper Rover's weaponry is enough to keep enemies at bay. It can cope with rough terrain even though its advanced suspension system is completely non-functional.

Little is known about the origins of the Hyper Rover, but the earliest sighting of one was four years ago on the planet Torebonkúl. The vehicle drove past a Venture survey camp and proceeded to gun down an entire forest, then painstakingly pick up every last resource chunk. The driver, or drivers, or onboard AI, didn't respond to any signal, no matter how the intrepid stunt drivers tried to get their attention. One Venture driver made the mistake of shooting the Hyper Rover to get its attention, prompting it to blow up their cars, anchor itself and suck up all the discarded parts, then drive away over the hills. A couple of weeks later, its snapshot was posted on the galactic web with this message: "WHO TAKES THE FIRST STEP SHALL CHOOSE THE LAST".

Size: Would BenBacon call it "medium"? I call it massive.
Weight: Very heavy.
Speed: Medium.
Agility: All right.
Movement: Ten Big Daddy wheels, some boosters and stuff.
Armament: One undermounted Gigaton cannon, eight GSO missile turrets, two downward-facing plasma cutters, four Zeus laser turrets, four autocannons, some other small arms.
Defences: Full shield and repair bubble coverage, plumbite plating on the main hull and some vulnerable areas.
Special Features: Can gather, refine and sell resources. Can anchor to make use of SCUs and solar panels.
Weaknesses: Vulnerable to attack from beneath by a short, nimble tech that can fire upwards.

 

[Aardvark123]

~Jefe, Scourge of the Universe, King of Techs~



A secret coalition of scientists and weapons developers created Jefe to be the ultimate tech, and they may have succeeded. While some jet planes can fly faster, some missile beds can deal more damage and a block of concrete the size of a mountain might be tougher, no tech has been able to combine speed, survivability and raw power in quite the way Jefe has. The so-called Yellow Yannihilator has never fallen in battle, not even after a thousand conquests. Between his guns and his plasma cutter, he can level a city in seconds, and nothing short of carpet-bombing can make dent his shields. With such power at their disposal, Jefe's operators never have to worry about finding a parking space outside the big Tesco near Leeds.

Size: Immense.
Weight: Immense...ly heavy.
Land Speed: 400mph. Can boost up to 650mph.
Air Speed: Cruises at 500mph. Maximum theoretically infinite.
Land Agility: Instant turning.
Air Agility: Like a hummingbird.
Movement: Various fully-articulated hard-wearing amphibious wheels which can morph into propellors, plus integrated all-axis hover-bug furry dice in the cab.
Armament: One Meltdown hyper-laser, as featured in Mindustry, disguised as a plasma cutter; two front-mounted quantum disruptor rays; ten rapid-fire homing bullet turrets; two rotary dark-matter-cooled hyper-cannons.
Defences: Six-dimensional gravity distortion shields, watermelon-scented nanotech-assisted rapid repair aegis.
Special Features: On-board AI with most of humanity's knowledge at its disposal, plenty of room in the boot.

~Universal guardian "Little Harvesty X"~



The GSO weren't prepared to take chances with Jefe. When the Yellow Yannihilator was first sighted near Earth they dispatched a fleet headed by their flagship Little Harvesty to face him, but the fleet was decimated and Little Harvesty beaten senseless. Jefe's pilots began a rampage through every system Earth's government held. Faced with the annihilation of her organisation, plus the galaxy, Admiral Wang (leader of the GSO, remember?) ordered a retreat to their stronghold on the planet Omengard. There they patched up what was left of the fleet and gathered the greatest engineering minds in the galaxy to build a stronger tech.

The result was Little Harvesty X. With a weapons designed by two harpies who love hot showers and a drill made in Vietnam, it was the most expensive and hopefully most powerful tech ever built. As Jefe rampaged through the Martian colonies, the GSO deployed Little Harvesty X to destroy him or fall in the attempt. The harpies launched a withering barrage of missiles before giving Crafty Mike (who had talked Admiral Wang into letting him be the driver) the go-ahead to ram Jefe, which broke the deadly tech in half.

Then Jefe revealed his last, greatest secret. Green sparks shot from the tech's repair bubble, which had barely survived the attack. Before the GSO heroes' horrified eyes, a new hind section built itself onto Jefe's broken front and a new front built itself onto Jefe's rear. Within seconds, two rebuilt Jefes stood where one had fallen, their weapons trained on Little Harvesty X. So Mike drove Little Harvesty X behind a ridge, from where they pelted the Jefes with missiles until both were well and truly destroyed.

~And Now, Little Harvesty X's Stats~

Size: Very large.
Weight: Very heavy.
Land Speed: 350mph.
Air Speed: Cruises at 600mph. Maximum of 1400mph in atmosphere.
Land Agility: Can drive on any surface, including water, and turn rapidly on the spot. Very responsive.
Air Agility: Excellent.
Movement: Six all-terrain magnetic coil wheels capable of turning into propellors, four omnidirectional induction jets.
Armament: Two rotary dimension-tear hypercannons, one 320,000 RPM neutronium alloy ultra-drill made in Vietnam, four long-range explosive machine cannons, eight high-yield missile silos shaped like resource collectors.
Defences: Unobtanium hull plating, nano-assisted ablative armour, blast-proof shield.
Special Features: Quantum booster engine allows instant teleportation at a range of up to 322LY. Drill can detach and fly through enemies, although reattachment takes a second or two. Damaged fuel tanks can be jetissoned. Mini-fridge never runs out of iced tea.

 

[Aardvark123]

~Downwards-firing assault helicopter "Archon"~



Boasting twelve downwards-facing Rapid cannons and four missile launchers, the Archon is able to bombard helpless targets from above without fear. It can fly, hover and steer with plenty of speed thanks to the many engines spread throughout its hull. A strong internal structure, plenty of elegant armour, a large repair bubble and plenty of lightweight batteries allow it to take on extended battles without fear; after all, a skilled pilot won't be getting hit too much, will they? I'm sure they won't.

The Archon hovers pretty well with its rotors set to 65% thrust. Set the thrust a little lower for sustained bombardments or else the recoil from the cannons will push it up higher. It was built to fly with its ion thrusters, not by tilting, so treat it more like an airship than a conventional helicopter. It can be driven well enough on land with the rotors switched off, too.

Size: Large-ish.
Weight: Medium.
Air Speed: 70mph.
Agility: Fairly responsive and manoeuvreable.
Movement: Four large Better Future rotors, four ion thrusters facing in each direction, a WHOLE BUNCH of adjustment thrusters, eight landing gears.
Armament: Twelve downwards-facing Rapid cannons, four additional Rapid cannons, four small downwards-facing missile launchers.
Defences: Full repair bubble coverage, curved armour over exposed areas.
Special Features: None, really.
Weaknesses: No shield.

 

[Aardvark123]

~Grand Trading Station~



The GSO recently commissioned a new version of their iconic trading stations, hoping for something a little easier to use and more likely to make the other corporations jealous. What they got was this thing, with a built-in refinery, faster resource processing and sales, an unlimited stock of GSO parts for sale, shields, weaponry, a charging bay and a longer-range SCU. Unfortunately, making the Grand Trading Station indestructible like the current leading model proved to be impossible, so the GSO ultimately decided that deploying millions of them throughout the galaxy would be a waste of resources. If you want one, though, help yourself to the snapshot.

Size: Large.
Weight: Heavy.
Armament: Four missile turrets, eight Coil lasers, eight three-pound cannons.
Defences: Full repair bubble coverage, almost full shield coverage, plumbite armour.
Special Features: Can refine and sell resources. Internal buffer of 40 resource chunks. Built-in SCU will take in nearby blocks.
Weaknesses: Can be overwhelmed by large, powerful enemies.

 

[Aardvark123]

~Gravity-resistant aerial racer tech "Dolphin M"~




The Dolphin M, with M standing for "manoeuvreability", is Venture's latest and greatest antigravity racer, which they've grudgingly kitted out with some of Better Future's vastly superior components. It can move in every spatial direction with poise and grace, providing you keep a light hand on the controls, and has the battery power for plenty of hassle-free antigravity racing. A carefully-chosen set of adjustment thrusters power its omnidirectional movement.

Size: Smallish.
Weight: Normally light. Extremely light when powered.
Land Speed: 70mph.
Air Speed: 65mph.
Land Agility: Great cornering.
Air Agility: Stupendous, although it can spin out of control if you're not careful.
Movement: Four two-way adjustment thrusters, four five-way adjustment thrusters.
Special Features: A Pip antigravity engine.

For the serious racer, a variant of the Dolphin with more straight-line speed is available:

~Rocket-assisted gravity-resistant racer "Dolphin S"~



As you could probably have guessed, the "S" stands for "Suzie Vroom has a cute nose". No, sorry, "speed". The S stands for "speed". Um, basically, it's got some extra adjustment thrusters and a couple of rocket boosters. Be warned, if you steer too hard while in motion, the Dolphin S will go into a helpless spin. Using the boosters won't make this more likely to happen, though. In fact, they kind of help it stay in a straight line. Funny how that works...

Size: Smallish.
Weight: Normally light. Extremely light when powered.
Land Speed: 95mph.
Air Speed: 95mph.
Land Agility: Great cornering.
Air Agility: Stupendous, although it can spin out of control if you're not careful.
Movement: Four two-way adjustment thrusters, four five-way adjustment thrusters, six one-way adjustment thrusters, two rocket boosters.
Special Features: A Pip antigravity engine.

 

[YaYYeeT]

Lathrix may copyright you, that is very similar to the Nomad.

Like the Nomad, the Consumer is vulnerable to a tiny Hawkeye Tank destroyer with a battleship cannon going under it and wreaking havoc amongst its wheels.

 

[Aardvark123]

~Budget Venture armoured car "Jacinta"~



Jacinta is a speedy vehicle designed for newly-minted members of Team Venture who also have access to GSO blocks. She has the speed and manoeuvreability to take on easy and medium race tracks, as well as enough batteries and firepower to overwhelm a noticeably less powerful enemy. An anchor and some solar panels give her a wide operating range, making her an ideal choice for travel and scouting. Just try not to break the front spoiler on any rocks.

Size: Medium.
Weight: Lightish.
Land Speed: Around 70mph, up to 100mph while boosting.
Land Agility: Good.
Movement: Twelve small, fast wheels, two propellors, two rocket boosters.
Armament: Three GSO three-pound cannons, thirteen Pip machine guns.
Defences: GSO shield and repair bubbles.
Special Features: Can anchor and deploy solar panels. Has booster rockets, too.
Weaknesses: No armour to speak of. Won't look so pretty if you don't have the charity skin pack.

~Wheely Wellie~



The Wheely Wellie is a racing tech shaped like a... wellie? As in, a waterproof boot made out of rubber? Is this some kind of joke?!

Well, um... According to my sources, the Wheely Wellie was created by an organisation calling themselves the Designing Object-Like Techs Society, or "DOLT Society" for short, to represent them in a cross-country rally on the swamp planet Xkhieevstku'uk Alpha. Somehow, the geniuses in charge must have reasoned that a wellington boot would be best for swampy environments, as opposed to, say, a tank. Or a hovercraft. Anyway, the Wheely Wellie's tiny wheels couldn't handle all the mud, so they carried it to the finish line with a helicopter shaped like Pierre's shop from Stardew Valley, and were disqualified.

Size: Medium.
Weight: Medium.
Land Speed: 60mph.
Land Agility: Not great. Despite its gyroscopes, it wobbles around the softest of corners and can't hope to turn on the spot.
Movement: Six wheels, some other stuff hidden inside.
Special Features: It has repair bubbles to deal with incidental damage.
Weaknesses: Limited hill-climbing ability. Limited cornering ability. Tips over easily. Not actually waterproof. Tends to drag through the treetops when suspended from a helicopter shaped like a shop.

 

[YaYYeeT]

~Wheely Wellie~

View attachment 32661

The Wheely Wellie is a racing tech shaped like a... wellie? As in, a waterproof boot made out of rubber? Is this some kind of joke?!

Well, um... According to my sources, the Wheely Wellie was created by an organisation calling themselves the Designing Object-Like Techs Society, or "DOLT Society" for short, to represent them in a cross-country rally on the swamp planet Xkhieevstku'uk Alpha. Somehow, the geniuses in charge must have reasoned that a wellington boot would be best for swampy environments, as opposed to, say, a tank. Or a hovercraft. Anyway, the Wheely Wellie's tiny wheels couldn't handle all the mud, so they carried it to the finish line with a helicopter shaped like Pierre's shop from Stardew Valley, and were disqualified.

Size: Medium.
Weight: Medium.
Land Speed: 60mph.
Land Agility: Not great. Despite its gyroscopes, it wobbles around the softest of corners and can't hope to turn on the spot.
Movement: Six wheels, some other stuff hidden inside.
Special Features: It has repair bubbles to deal with incidental damage.
Weaknesses: Limited hill-climbing ability. Limited cornering ability. Tips over easily. Not actually waterproof. Tends to drag through the treetops when suspended from a helicopter shaped like a shop.

Wasn't that from an old comm core?

 

[Aardvark123]

Wasn't that from an old comm core?

Yes.