Helios Airlines

[rdoom2003]

After many weeks of research HELIOS can now present the X-781 passenger plane.

Featuring turbojet air intakes!

• 600 seats (960 if ya squeeze)
• some fuel is stored under passengers (They could smell a leak)
• No pesky autopilot
• Wired by a 7 year old (Even you can fix it!)
• Massive landing gear (No need to worry about rubber coating your runway)
• Top speed of 210
• Accelerates to 19.14 G

Here's what our engineers say:
"What were we thinking" Mr. Antoslov
"It will fly trust me. now put the gu"- Anonymous
"I've seen god while flying this plane"- Test pilot
"Our fuel pump is a supercharger from my bi-turbo" - Senior engineer: Smith
"I've been welding for 7 hours straight and it still falls apart" - TIG welder
"The sky splits apart when this thing flys" - Test pilot B
"I crossed the wrong wires and now I'm deaf"- Lead technician(currently on paid leave)
"Send help I'm stuck in a fuel tank Rob sealed it up while I was grinding out the inside"- The late Mr.Zavala
"Our flight computer is an arduino"- Jim west

First plane is free
second one is 2.3 million

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1268910686

 

[rdoom2003]

Helios X-781 Military variant

Features
​

• Twin Auto-cannons
• Improved Landing gear
• Improved turbo prop design
• Bigger fuel storage
• Missiles to defend against space terrorists.

Heres what our sponsors say
"Corerong-"Redbull
"Why did you do this" - Pepsi
"Please give us back our money we didn't want this" - The Russian goverment
"Finally a jet for modern America" - The 65th president
"All but two seats have been replaced with fuel tanks. - Microsoft
"What have you done too our engines"- General Electric.

 

[rdoom2003]

Helios S-Class Personal jet

Features!​

• 80 Helios EV engines
• No expensive rocket fuel
• fully custom interior
• Free flight computer (with up to 1Mb of ram)
• Tracked landing gear
• Twin cockpit
• Starts in 1.2 seconds (0.6 if you order the 5kv ignition)
• Bowler hat
• Comes with premium Speedometers
• Seats up to 15 people
• up to 15 tons of cargo
• Smooth speed of 115 mph.

Heres what our team says
"We ran out of wheels"- Lead technician Smith
"Finally something that can fly with these useless EV engines" - Refused to be named
"Personally designed by your overlord"- Helios CEO
"My Semi-truck is faster than this pile of junk"- Intern James
"The seats are pretty comfy"- Guard Richard

 

[Boomik]

with up to 1Mb of ram

I'm dying...

 

[rdoom2003]

I'm dying...

Its quite a lot actually. We can't afford that fancy technology Intel uses so we wired up all of the transistors our selves. All 48 million of em. We could only afford the germanium ones. 52 woppin Tons it weighs

 

[Traveel]

Its quite a lot actually. We can't afford that fancy technology Intel uses so we wired up all of the transistors our selves. All 48 million of em. We could only afford the germanium ones. 52 woppin Tons it weighs

I'm dying at the here's what our ____ say: "insert funny stuff here"

 

[rdoom2003]

Helios Support crew
All Companies need some support when the worst happens.
Welding Battery

Fire truck

Delta AA defense
​

Words from the crew
"The fire truck is a joke" - Technician Smith
"We don't have competition anymore thanks to the Delta class defense"- General Blake
"I pride my self in the Fire trucks design" - Structural engineer Howard
"The Welding battery does the most work here" - Lead welder Jackson
"Stop taking things from my truck"- Senior engineer Smith.

 

[Traveel]

"Stop taking things from my truck"- Senior engineer Smith.

Killing people is a crime. (I’m actually dying of laughter)

 

[rdoom2003]

Helios The Block JET

FEATURES​

• Up to 61,000 TONS of thrust
• Makes a good paper weight
• Cheap landing gear ( Repairs are quick and easy)
• Can carry anything less than 160 tons
• Sound proof cabin
• Sound proof cockpit
• Massive viewing window
• Only needs a 1 volt starter battery (Give or take a 50ka)
• Comes with a free turbocharger
• Even smoother speed than a personal jet (89 mph)
• Flight computer (Mechanical)
• Runs on Energy dense diesel

Heres what our Industrial design team says
"You need to stop"- (former)Cargo manager Gerald
"It starts like a tractor" - Lead welder Jackson
"quite fun to fly, when it works" - Pilot Henderson
"How did we get a plane to run on diesel. " - Rookie Clark
"I don't know how it flys but it does"- Anonymous
"It took us 12 trips but we shipped "Cannonz v3" " - Guard Richard
"GeoCorps tungsten armor isn't supposed to fly"- Laser operator James

​

 

[rdoom2003]

Helios Skybreaker nuclear Jet

Features​

• Nuclear fission powered engines
• Massive engine radiator (friction cooled)
• 6 autocannons
• Massive landing gear for ease of use
• A nice smooth 102 mph top speed
• mechanical computer (2kb of ram)(hand cranked)
• first Helios brand plane to have a blackbox
• wire recorder black box
• 1.6 million tons of thrust
• Nuclear waste is shot out the back at mach 7
• Can hold 1200 passengers (6000 if you crush a few)
• Hand cranked coolant pump

Heres what our Engineers say
"We got 15 reactors in an airplane" - Lead nuclear engineer Clarkson
"You can't land this thing legally"- Helios CEO
"Who designed this monstrosity"- Geo steel production
"25,000 tons of solid tungsten and steel Why did we ever think that this was safe"- Directors board
"It took my team of 134 workers 24 months to construct this. Is it even economically viable" - Lead welder Jackson
"I keep finding parts of my truck in our planes, Who is doing this" - Senior engineer Smith
"HELP IM STUCK IN REACTOR A4 SEND HELP DONT PUT THIS IN AN AD" - The late Jack Clarkson

Sponsored by John deer

 

[Nightblade Greyswandir]

GeoCorps tungsten armor isn't supposed to fly"- Laser operator James

LOL , it is painful to laugh this much.

 

[Olli_DXD]

Why has nobody patented friction cooling yet? It's genius!

 

[Potato]

The humor in this is well-made. I love it.

 

[JimmyBlether]

THIS THREAD OS HILARIOUS!!! I LOVE IT!

Fire truck

I laughed a lot at this one.

 

[Boomik]

I'm literally dead at this thread xd

 

[Zargn]

Cool techs, and funny descriptions, could it get any better?

 

[rdoom2003]

HELIOS Comet

Features​

• Massive landing gear
• Too much armor
• Top speed of 156mph
• nice colorful wings
• Solid ring booster rocket
• Just like an older S-R71 it expands while flying to keep the fuel from falling out
• flight computer (4kb optical)
• Main fusalage is stronger than most buildings
• 2 seats (3 if you break the co-pilots legs)
• Hand pumped fuel pump
• No radiator at all (No need for costly coolant)

Heres what out sponsors say
"You just took a pillar and made it a plane" - Boeing
"I'm going to break your legs if this doesn't work" - General electric
"Were gonna go invade the Filthy Americans with this" - The late North Korean government
"Yeah it works but why would we need this"- Pepsi
"697 trillion well spent" - 65th president
"it took us 4 weeks to fuel to monstrosity" - Delta airlines

 

[Nightblade Greyswandir]

"You just took a pillar and made it a plane" - Boeing

I am dying!

 

[QuackDuck]

Comment from customer:
"The front landing gear is misaligned reEEEEEEE-" - QuackDuck, a satisfied customer

 

[rdoom2003]

Problem has been solved.